I support the industry

Oh and lest we forget

2008-07-10T00:20:00.003-04:00

That depression study is still in the works. I've done a bit more studying and have diagrammed below an actual test that actual scientists use to measure depression.

More to follow.

This too Shall Pass or Can You Smell What the Science is Cooking?

2008-07-09T22:31:00.008-04:00

This past July 4th weekend may have been the best time I've ever had in the city. My dad came up to visit and my brother and I showed him a hell of a time. Thursday was dinner at one of our favorite places. Friday we saw the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating contest (USA! USA!) and then fireworks on the Brooklyn side of the South Street Sea Port, close enough we felt our eyebrows smolder. Saturday was a BBQ with Aunts + Uncles, Sunday a Buckminster Fuller exhibit at the Whitney, and Monday before he flew off we got pizza and talked about Trotsky's assassination in Mexico.

Naturally after all that I assumed I was due for some astonishingly bad luck. That's not pessimism, just probability. And maybe a little pessimism, but after today I probably won't have to worry about it for a while. See I can have a bad day at work like anyone else. Quitting time rolls around and looking back you figure your productivity may actually have been higher if staying home with a pitcher of iced tea and the remains of the Sunday paper. The only difference with my bad days is that I work in a lab and as it turns out that makes a hell of a lot of a difference.

It started early, I had to check on some mice for a project at 10 and while I was picking up this 40 gram bastard he squirmed out of my grip and bit off a not small chunk of my thumb. I cursed, dropped him, swore vengeance and held a towel to my digit for a while. This is a rather too common occupational hazard and there are many first aid kits scattered throughout our lab walls and in various crowbar accessible crates.

The 10 o'clock project didn't start till 11, but at least it was something I was looking forward to, sacrificing mice on the altar of science and guess who was first on the chopping block?
Also I was killing the lot for another one of the attractive post docs I work with, and we had a pretty good time at it. Of course she also mentioned (reiterated actually) how she thought it was a really bad idear to date in the office. Balls. Actually I'm not exactly sure sure why it was she brought this up, I don't recall acting particularly flirtatious. Maybe it's just when you peal back a rib cage to reveal a still beating heart waiting for your needles well, these things cross the mind.

An aside regarding the mouse sacrifice. The fuzzy little guy has received a few minutes prior an extremely lethal dose of Pentobarbital-and is before we begin checked carefully for reactions or responses to stimulus or pain before we get cracking. I'm not a monster...not all the time.

Anywho that finished I got to start on the next big project of the day. For that I was measuring how a completely different breed of mouse thermoregulated. That is, I put 2 dozen of them in the freezer and took their temperature every hour for a while. Now we've two means of measuring this-a fancy implanted probe that sits under the skin broadcasting information about the mouse temperature, mood, mass of the lass bowel movement whatever. The other method requires a lot of Vaseline.

Go ahead and guess which system I employed.

So I was walking out of the central lab area for the 2nd to last reading and I noticed a lot of red splotches on my glove. Right, the biting, I knocked around in a first aid kit wiped down my wound with alcohol and applied a fresh band aid. Then, when I turned about to walk out again I heard a sharp cracking sound and felt something small and likely expensive under my foot. I bent down to pick it up and-

Another aside, how do you think we learn about our environment, especially when were confronted with some really novel stimuli? Personally, and I don't have much to back this up with aside from my impromptu experiment, I think a lot of our tactics fall back on the old hunter/gatherer models. For instance imagine you've picked up something smallish, and new to you. You need to figure out if it's good to eat (and then eat it) or potentially dangerous (and give it to your neighbor). You must act quickly so the actions you follow aren't exactly on a conscious level, but it's simple stuff, just getting as much sensory data as you can. Touch, sight and smell, and so on.

So-you feel a thing, kinda papery but solid in the middle. Then your looking at it, but oops not wearing prescription today and the print is very tiny so hold it close, and as you pull it close*SNRF*, a quick smell. All pretty basic stuff, not the kind of thing you'd pay a second thought to unless it went, "Hmmm what's this say? Ammon*SNRF*AAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

"AAAAGH OH GOD!"

"Tom what is it?" The post doc again, coincidentally, her bench is the closest to the first aid box.

"AGH it's this thing NO DON-"

*SNRF* "OH GOD!"

"What IS it?!"

"Smelling Salts-get rid of it!" I had no idea how. If I threw it down the sink or in the trash I'd probably gas the lab or at least the cleaning lady. I ran to the underboss, the tiny capsul clenched tight in my fist "AGH! How do I get rid of this?"

"Get rid of what?" She reached for my hand.

"NO! It's Ammonium!" *SNRF*

"AGH! Tom what in the HELL are you doing with Ammonium? Get it in the hood in a container with a lid on it and a note!" And in it went to our dangerous chemical hood to be vented outside, presumably killing overflying birds and small aircrafts.

Wherein I am tossed a shovel

2008-07-03T23:11:00.002-04:00

This was all written on Tuesday by the by, my interents have been broken lately and I'm sure you care at all. One of these days I will put up that missive on what exactly my job entails, but once again I’ve been derailed with crazy shit going down in science town. For the time being know that I work on mice that possesses a certain awful neurodegenerative disease and despite our efforts that disease remains pretty much altogether incurable. It’s not the most uplifting of work. I mean it would be if we made any progress at all but as it stands right now not so much. Bah.

But it’s also very complicated work, and for an obsessive like me that’s pleasurable. In fact my employment is also rather complex, since there are a few different grants paying my salary and they’re not all from the same lab. This may actually be my saving grace, since my overseers aren’t sure if they can fire me without pissing off one of the others I toil for. One professor in particular is a floor higher and responsible for 20% of my salary. I don’t see him very often, and just this afternoon he noted this fact.

Dr. 1/5^th: Say Tom it doesn’t look like your working anywhere near 20% of your time for me.

Me: Well um some weeks are more some are less but yeah pretty much no where close.

Dr. 1/5^th: Indeed. Well I’ve got a new project in the works somewhat removed from the one you’ve been ignoring a while.

Me: Aright.

Dr. 1//5^th: You would be working with my most attractive post doctoral student, she doesn’t really know much about mouse breeding.

Me: Oh? Well yeah I’d say my schedule is fairly-

Dr. 1/5^th: I’ve also taken an interest in this matter, I think I could say of the work I’ve done in the past decade it’s the most promising line of research I’ve ever seen.

Me: Wow. For sure I could start-

Dr. 1/5^th: Oh were also collaborating with Dr. _________ at the institute? You may remember him, he said it’s his most intriguing work to date. Really beyond anything he’d done before. Including the work he did for the Nobel.

Me: Oh that Dr. ______! Oh yeah, right so I’ll just talk to your student about when I should-

Dr. 1/5^th: So basically it’s a model, in mice, of…

…Depression.

Me: Fuck.

The Beat That My Heart Skipped

2008-06-26T20:14:00.006-04:00

I've got a longish post in the works (tentatively "Why We Kill Mice") but what with the care and feeding of my strange uncle and various amusements my posting schedule languishes. Perhaps this weekend. In the meantime a small anecdote of science terror from just this afternoon.

Email from the lab underboss: ATTENTION ANIMAL USERS.

"Dear All,

Recently, 50 mice have been found dead in their cages due to a lack of ventilation from their Thoren-unit. The Thoren-unit had been unplugged accidentally."

A Thoren-Unit:

These steel behemoths can hold up to 600 mice and about half as many rats. They've got wheels to move em about and hookups to automated water and food systems and the previously mentioned ventilation system.

I was certain that once again I had accidentally murdered dozens and dozens of my mice. It's hard to explain the exact combination of feelings I had at that moment which is why I wish I spoke German. Terror-shame, hot buckets of it. I rushed to a fellow tech and told her to check her email.

She read and turned on me with the exact same look of Terror-shame writ large. "Oh my god she didn't say whose mice had died."
"I know, fuck, I moved a Thoren unit just yesterday."
"Me too. Fuck."
"Hey wait a sec,"She turned and looked at the screen. "Did you actually read this?"
I looked where she was pointing, one very important word above her well trimmed fingernail. Where I had read 'mice' it actually said 'rats'. We had no rats in our colonies, only mice. We chuckled nervously and then pondered why she seemed to get an allergic reaction to something in the lab every day at 4 in the afternoon.

So like a Latin dictator I was seeing enemies in every corner, and that would normally concern me. But at that moment I was pleasantly whelmed with relief. Someone we didn't know was having a shitty shameful day, wondering if they were about to lose their job. And that was a nice change of pace.

Also, this.

The road to science is paved with mice

2008-06-17T22:07:00.004-04:00

I really didn't want to make this post. I didn't want to post at all actually but my ~~raid~~ shark rodeo was canceled and I had some time on my hands. I had originally planned (I'm trying for weekly updates by the by) a sombre explanation of what the research I'm sacrificing my time, effort and mice is all about. But unlike the mice in question, last week's topic isn't dead yet.

No, enough of that. Actually it was

My meeting with the principal investigator-the guy who cuts the checks-went pretty much as I expected. Actually a hell of a lot better then I expected, since when I told him what I'd discovered about the mouse colony he just kind of breathed in sharply and nodded. He asked if these faulty mice had been used in any experiments? I said I'd checked, and no. He thought a minute, weighed the options and said he guessed I'd have to get rid of them. I nodded, said I'd get right on it. And I did, (damn it) the very next day.

I was thorough, and since my records were kept carefully I could identify every errant cage in the rack and put a little mark on them. I'd considered doing the deed myself but the easy way was just to easy. One of ~~my minions~~ the animal technicians would take care of them when they came in to clean the cages the next day. I lingered, wrapped in a cold shawl of Catholic guilt, thinking about all the ways this was very very wrong. And then I left. And that weekend I got good and drunk against the express advice of my gastroenterologist.

Monday back to work, and inevitably back to the now much emptier room where we kept our mice. In the back of my mind was a command from ~~the underboss~~ the director of mouse work to not forget about the old breeders of this colony, since they were to old to be used again. Since they weren't on my record sheet I'd probably missed them in the first pass. Sure enough, wedged between the wall and the mini-fridge there was the cage of the old girls. Still with the original ordering information, which I quickly scanned.

Then I put the cage back on the rack.

Then I muffled my screams with a handy lab coat.

Yes Dear Reader, my records were faulty, and the mice had been bred exactly as they were supposed to be. No miscegenation, oh outraged Victorian pedigree keepers, those 180+ mice were as pure as the driven snow. Were. Because now, they are dead. And I killed them. Perhaps we will meet again.

The weird thing is, I really have no idea how to even admit to this. Definitely, via means I haven't completely worked out, it's my fault and I'm retarded. But in a completely different way from what I've already owned up to! I was right, when I set up their breeding 9 months ago. But I forgot that, and then I mislabeled them in my records, and then lost the original paperwork. Before I could figure out what had actually happened I reported what seemed to have happened and then the mice were doomed doomed doomed.

So I might be wrong sometimes, but I can also be wrong about being wrong, and that's something to check before getting all kill crazed.

Well lets restart this here science blog with a bit of science, whatdayahsay?

2008-06-10T20:40:00.005-04:00

Ah science. I've been pretty fucking busy with it the past two years and also with the running about NYC and trying to not get killed (more on that later), but I did manage a few moments of what I do best. Fucking science up in a preposterously expensive way.

In deference to your feeble mortal brains, I'll be explaining these fuckups with as little actual science as possible. This is also handy because in the extremely unlikely event that someone from my job finds this blog and links me to it (Maybe I should go ahead and remove those photos now...) well then I won't have been passing on precious science secretes or secretions.

Good luck decoding my inconsistent and misleading metaphors!

So my most recent case of science fail has actually been ongoing for about 9 months, and was only discovered now because of an email I'd written to another lab. In a rough ranking of horrible stupidity I've inflected on my lab this ranks at least in the top three.

Roughly 1/3 of my time in the lab is spent working with mice. And the mice in our lab are an interesting bunch because they are immensely varied. Most of the breeds currently used are actually descended from mouse fanciers, circa the Victorian age. Those sexually frustrated gentlemen of that era, like our own, had the ability to devote stupid amounts of time to the most ridiculous of pursuits, be it lepidoptery, spanking, or animal breeding.

Why the hell am I talking about dear Queen Victoria, well mouse fanciers are pretty extinct by now but maybe you're all familiar with different breeds of dog. So, a chihuahua is unlike a Great Dane or a labradoodle but they're all still recognizably dog right? This is because even today a great deal of effort is taken to keep those breeds apart, efforts which occasionally fail:

Ok so the metaphors breaking down a bit but imagine it was really important that I breed about 300 Scottish Terriers. And I've been working on that since last September filling up our fucking what're they kennels? Ok, each Terrier gets food and water in his little kennel and he just sits there month after month shitting away our money. And then I'm told, well we've got plenty of Terriers, but you know what we need? Beagles. Call up this other lab and see if they'll send us some, coincidentally the same lab that gave us our Terriers originally.

And they will, god bless em, but as their version of me is checking over the paperwork I mailed em she picks something up. Something I'd missed for uh yeah exactly the past 9 months I'd been responsible for them dogs. Those terriers I was breeding? Yeah they were actually boxers. USELESS GODDAMN BOXERS!

So! Tomorrow I get to tell my big boss, about 3 levels above my normal boss, that the bitches I've been breeding are useless and also that the other lab can't ship us any Beagles OR Terriers for at least another month or two.

And I still don't think I'm gonna be fired. Because it's still not as bad as the worst thing I've done in this lab. But that is a tail for another time.

I'd mostly forgotten about this but...

2008-06-09T23:47:00.003-04:00

I may start posting here again...

Maybe.

If I don't get distracted with all my amazing new SCIENCE adventures here in New York City!

Stay tuned, or not, who knows!

Edit: Fuck. If I'd held out three more days it would have been two years since my last post. Meh.

Yep

2006-06-12T17:05:00.000-04:00

Clean out the closet, pack up the books, and throw away the porn. In a matter of hours now I'll be in New York, possibly forever.

Possible, but not likely.

Anyway, I don't remember if I've mentioned this before but I'm not bringing my computer with me. Nor any other computer, for that matter. So forget what I said before, this really is the last post I'll make for a time. To my apparently regular readers, I hope you've enjoyed my fairly scattered, occasionally nonsensical, always tangential, and rarely grammatical posts. I generally I enjoyed writing them, though I couldn't bring myself to reread months past. Indelicacies of youth you understand.

I really really will keep in touch. I hope.

-Tom

She really doesn't like me, or it's the other way around

2006-06-10T22:54:00.000-04:00

I vowed long ago to either never regret the things I did drunk, or not get drunk. It's an attitude that's served me well! I both have a way of coping with my ...confused memories and an out if I want to stop. And obviously, I can quit anytime I want.

*whiskey*

I'm realizing that there's one really great benefit for me for moving away. I can get away from my own tip-of-the-tongue syndrome I get most days. Here's the rundown: I'll be sitting reading on the couch in a cafe and a stranger will waltz in. Then, they see me there glancing up with what they think is recognition (It is confusion). Big smile, a 'Hey To-oh-OM!' and shake hands. I go, 'Hey yah-you! I was just on the way to the bathroom!' I take a piss and talk to myself while I wash my hands, 'Craig? Did I play soccer with him? Dan? No but it's got a D sound.'

This happens at least once a day. Twice today! (Pierre! It was Pierre the boy with the French name!) And I gather it's not to unusual when you live in one place all your life. Only for me it's a bit worse because I did live elsewhere for about 4 years now. So they get to do the BIG smile hand laugh thing and I look like Tommy-McAss-Jerk. I hate that so I usually just make up a name. Good thing my friends are all very polite.

Anyway, I'm moving 600 miles away to a city 100 times the size. And that's one thing I can relax about.

Until one of you fuckers surprises me in Central Park I mean.

And here's that Washington thing I was talking about.

Oh, darn, out of time

2006-06-08T01:57:00.000-04:00

As my life approaches a critical point I can feeel it gain momentum. Events and plans spiral out from me and collapse, or, come to fruition before I even grasp their antecedants. I am at once dazzled and numb.

But there is a cure.

Rather a treatment, and one I shall I follow as close as necessary. I'll be lucky enough to have lots of help in the matter.

That is to say, for possibly the last time I'll see them in quite a while, I'm going out to drink with my friends. I can't wait.

Clinging to life isn't nearly as exciting as it sounds

2006-05-30T21:37:00.000-04:00

My plans to explore more of the ins and outs of Ann Arbor foundered recently when a sudden plague of microbes or Allergens or both washed over me just as obscenely humid weather descended. The predictable result was that I woke at 4 in the morning drenched in sweat, throat clenched and raw, while my bleary eyes desperately tried to close the windows and activate the AC. I managed neither but I did manage to make my way to the medicine cabinet. No small task as it's past several doors, house cats, and flight of stairs. After a cheerful breakfast of 'Tussin , IBprofin, and two different prescription allergy meds I returned to bed for roughly 18 hours.

I don't know why spring always surprises me so. I'm sure this has happened before so it's probably blooms and whatnot that did me in. On the other hand I've also been hanging out with plenty of sick people, not the fun moral sickness either. I suppose I've no problem blaming God, Man and everything in between because hey it's not like they'd care about my whinging* anyway. And sometimes a good whinges* just what you need.

So of course one day afterwards and just north of decrepit it happens that I go to Detroit for a party. This is after another 4AM wakeup mind you. And of course It aint no party like a Detroit party Cause a Detroit party dont stop. So that was last night and as opposed to most parties I attend I remember everything. Everything being a lot of music and me falling asleep on a couch or two.

Finally, in preparation for the move, I've had to start boxing up the things to be stowed away. For me this is mostly books of which I've got a few thousand. I'm not sure if anyone else collected as fervently as I did but looking back on my reading habits in those days is a bit embarrassing. So mostly I'm stowing away the mountains of paperbacks and keeping the good stuff front and center. Well. Better stuff anyway.

*Primarily British they tell me, but the I like the way those letters line up.

Possibly the last post for a while

2006-05-26T23:23:00.000-04:00

Huh. My computer just alerted me that this evaluation copy of Windows will be expiring in an hour. I did know this would happen but it's about 60 days earlier then I expected. And of course I can't call Microsoft because they're help center's closed till Tuesday.

I'll just be furiously backing things up here then. Thanks Gates!

Edit:False alarm? The appointed hour arived and my computer suddenly shut down. But then it restarted with not a word about the warning it had delivered.

He's a wiley one Mr. Gates, I wish I knew his game.

Edit2: Ah, it will be shutting down with 1 hour notices randomly from now on. Good show old boy, I want to shit in your neck.

These are the songs that we sing

2006-05-26T12:38:00.000-04:00

This post was originally composed on paper by candlelight. I’m not normally so romantic but a summer storm knocked out the power and I had both a candle and paper handy. It’s an interesting change of pace but not as different from a keyboard as you might think. Maybe it’s just a quirk of mine but I’ve always composed (and edited, and crossed out) in my head hours before I commit it to the page. The big difference with a pen and paper is that I can’t go back and switch words and grammar as I am wont to do. Of course this, what I’m writing now, must be transposed for others to read it. And why not edit then, it’s not like you-the reader-could stop me. Or that you’d ever know.

Pride holds me back.

Aside from scribbling with sharpened quill my other activity of late is reminiscence. I suppose it’s a bit premature (My only recently booked flight won’t leave for three weeks, June 14^th if you like specifics.) but still hard to avoid. I’ll be driving along a peaceful throughway and think about how I’ll not control my means of transportation for years to come. Months may pass as I shuttle between cab, bus, train, and the underground before foot hits peddle again. Do I mind?

I’ll really miss the people though. A short 3 months ago I found a café (The Ambrosia Café on Maynard next to the parking structure and across from the Borders) I really like. And for just a few weeks now I’ve finally clawed my way to regular status (they might not know my name but they know I like room for cream). And in 3 weeks I toss it away, to begin the search anew in Brooklyn or around the east side. Not that I think it’s hard at all to find coffee in New York but will it be the right coffee? I can but hope.

Speaking of hope after the power went out brother, father and I piled into the minivan to the closest sports bar to watch the home team punish a series of interlopers intent on stealing our pride and trophies. It was a grand old time, especially when dad paid for our beers (like the Piston’s victory, his generosity was never really in doubt but one must go through the proper motions). One sore point and an increasingly common one as colleges empty and old strangers pile back into this the town of my childhood is that as I glanced around the packed bar I kept seeing people who I did and did not know. Names never entered into my ruminations as I stole glances at eerily familiar faces. All I really wondered was where I’d seen them before, and if I were also getting drunk at the time.

That there is the heart of what excites me about moving, and living in NYC. I’ll be removed almost wholly from the context of my development and adrift in a city to which I’ve only a genetic link to. I could remake my personality or modus operandi (Sister’s suggested I try for lady’s man. She’s very kind.) entirely, or simply act as I always do and observe if folks respond differently. So that’ll be kind of weird. But if I can make it there, I can make it anywhere.

Still I realize as people everywhere are fond of telling me, that New York's a different kind of place. I'll need to be canny, and tough. Or something. Anyway I've already begun practicing protective falsehoods and deceptions.

I didn't really write this longhand. Not even a little bit.

2006-05-23T13:17:00.000-04:00

ZOMGSCOTTPILGRIM#3IWISHITWASTOMORROWTODAY.

Edit: It's very good you should all go read it now.

It's a strange feeling

2006-05-17T23:44:00.000-04:00

Two items, of not insignificant importance. Item the first: I have a brand new cellular phone. I'd put the number here but I don't like having that information on the internet. A conundrum yes, if you've no other means of contacting me. Poppycock says I, if I haven't mumbled something to you via sattalite then send me an email to that effect and I'll make it right. Don't have my email either? Well...leave a meaningful comment here perhaps.

Item the second, I've accepted a formal offer to work at a lab in New York City. I'm tremendously excited about the prospect and all that it entails. Now the logistics of it all still need to be worked out, and I'm hoping this will be done over the next few days. Then I've got a few weeks to scout apartments, make arrangements around these parts and then holy christ Its off to the big city. If you'd like to know more perhaps we can talk about it on my cellular phone.

My my my.

2006-05-08T21:19:00.000-04:00

Ahhhhh....

Sunny days are here again.

Mmmmmmm...

Forsooth I return

2006-05-06T11:13:00.000-04:00

It's been a quiet week here at chez Hennessey Filled as usual with contemplation, study and intellectual pursuits. And the occasional ninjanomics. Still in between slices of brie and the occasional snifter of brandy a few small items of note have occured here and there. A not exhaustive summery of some follow:

I gave up and gave up giving up coffee in the span of maybe 5 days. This morning actually was the first time I've made myself a cupa in a while. It was an excercise in hilarity. My folks bought this awesome grinder/brewing coffee pot which turns fresh beans into tasty drinks. So this morning I clean it carefully, add the beans and filter, and hit brew, 1-4 cups. Then, "oh crap! I forgot to add the water!" I look again. "Oh crap! I forgot to add the coffee pot!"

Yeah.

Then I got a haircut for reasons I'll eventually elaborate. The day before I got a post card from the group, locks of love, that I donated my pony-tail to. It said, Thomas went to great lengths to help a child. That was darling. My hair's so much more managable now. I only regret how little there is to run my hands through.

40 years from now I might find this post and let out a long bitter laugh.

I'll elaborate more now on this maybe possibly oppurtunity that I don't want to even think of counting on. It's at a neurodegenerative disease lab at Weill Medical school of Cornell in New York (City not state). I'd be a research tech in a lab studying how Huntington's disease can debilitate and destroy body's and minds. Lately I've been desperatly cramming background information about the research the lab has done so far. The reason is I've been invited to a conference where my possible future boss will be giving a presentation. It's here in Ann Arbor, on Monday. I''ve got a useful undercurrent of terror and hope motivating me now, which is a nice change of pace.

A week from now I might find this post and let out a long bitter laugh.

But for now, I'm feeling rather optimistic.

Cheers.

2006-04-30T09:38:00.000-04:00

One for the Don't Mix These files: Wine, beer, and weed. Oh man oh man oh man.

Hrmm.

2006-04-24T20:45:00.000-04:00

First an anecdote, from across the pond way back when in 2004. During one of my brother's trips to Spain he and some other members of his travel group went to a bar. There in the group, as was typical of the time, was your typical metrosexual male. Into this bar he went and once there he flipped up his shirt collar. Immediately after, a Spanish man punched him in the face.

"In Spain, when you do this!" he said, in Spanish, as he flipped up his own collar, "it means you want to fight!"

I would have given much to see that happen.

As for other events Job possibilities continue to swirl and as it stands I'm counting on nothing until I show up and start preparing mediums or somesuch. But even so, one of these possibilities is developing at Cornell in New York. So that's especially exciting.

In other other news, I've sworn off coffee for the time being and I have a headache.

So long suckers!

2006-04-10T13:27:00.000-04:00

Leaving the internet for a few days as we've guests arriving any moment and the snaking Ethernet cord which connects my computer to the universe is an unsightly obstacle. Not a huge deal but if you never hear from me again tell Diablo 2 I love her.

In other news my parents did not great the news of my desire to emigrate as I expected. No discussion of finances, how they'd miss me...no none of that. Immediately I mean within minutes of bringing it up my mom was on the phone with our New York relatives tracking down a place to live and possible job offers. Feel free to draw your own conclusions based on my hygiene and sleeping habits but I'd guess that while we do of course still love each other, everyone would be happier with a few hundred miles between us. Exciting times.

I've reread my old neuro notes and this time around I'll actually finish my assigned reading before I try to write a paper about it.

The event was foretold

2006-04-06T02:32:00.000-04:00

This past weekend was great, a wonderful time hopefully shared more or less across the board with everyone who made it. The final tally was Sam, Lacey, Katie (Lacey's little), Thom, Russ, John, and Jordan. That other kid backed out which is probably for the best since he would have gone in the bath tub. Another John stopped by Saturday night for some anime and a contact high. Much L5R was played, much alcohol drunk, much dried plant matter smoked. Sunday afternoon I had some fine sushi, but I was hoping for tea as well. Goodness knows I'll miss them.

Also I had a suspicion which proved correct, which is always a heartening thing. Though in this case I'm also concerned about ramifications and what nots. Not much I could or would do about it though, so I'll have to hope for the best.

I alternate between hope and bitterness about not having a job and I've realized I need something to fill my time. So I've decided to finish a paper for my Neuroscience class from last year. The story is, I cleared the topic with my professor (who was also one of the readers of my Comp), found some decent papers and underlined a book then never did it. This paper mind you was worth about a third of my grade. Got an A in the course which proves I really am the opposite of Thom. Not wholly sure why I recieved this gift of a passing grade but maybe its because we both did yoga. Any who while I was content to let it go 1, 2, 11 months now, I think that I'll buckle down and actually write the thing. Mostly because I'm planning on heading back Meadville way for Senior week and it would be just hilarious to turn it in then.

I'm actually looking forward to this, which shows you just how long I've been out of school.

I'm pretty sure this Saturday is my last Yoga class, or at least I hope I didn't miss the real last class.

I neglected this as I neglected most things

2006-03-27T21:08:00.000-05:00

haaaaaaaaaaaa it's been two weeks? Two and a half? Might as well post this or that.

Still unemployed and still spending an unnerving number of hours reading, watching movies, or playing video games unshaven and wearing pajamas. Something has to change and I fear it'll be my pride. Ah well, easy come easy go.

On the upside former boss-lady wrote me a very nice letter of reference to bring to my next job interview. Sort of a, 'Hey no need to be that skittish with why I only worked 6 months at my last job' deal. I think it'll come in handy and I'm even considering applying at the university again.

See, I've been thinking about, and what it really feels like to be working full time. It's a lot like being in a romantic relationship. So much so that I can very clearly see a difference between when I was applying last summer and my current aspirations. Back then I was, for lack of a better term, virginal. Bright eyed, fresh faced and just out of college ready to be molded into the perfect laboratory functionary (or so they thought...). It was great while it lasted. God, I wish I had it back.

Now look at me, too dirty to pass for clean and not experienced enough to play the part. Is it any wonder I've run back to mother? Even so, despite it all, I remain hopeful. Feel free to bet amongst yourselfs as to when I'll swallow my pride and go back to working at Borders.

In not so uncomfortable news there'll be a small, nerdy gathering here at the homestead in less than a weeks time. Sam, John, Russ, Jordan, and Thom are the anticipated individuals and should be arriving Friday evening, nerding Saturday and departing Sunday. By way of making the experiance a fun one I'm thinking of restuarants we can make it too Saturday evening and maybe Sunday for lunch.

So of my prefered local dining establishments I've offered each 2 choices from Sushi, Thai, Middle Eastern or Indian. There are other places we could go but as I recall Meadville, these would be particuarly nice since their like is not to be found within a hundred miles of the place. The fun is in responses I've gathered:

Sam: Middle Eastern and Sushi
Thom: Not Thai
John: Is poor, but Indian twice.
Russ: ?????
Jordan: Jordan will not be eating.

So that'll take some figuring. But a chance to kick back, play some cards, smoke a bit, and go to a party should make it a very good weekend for all. With any luck.

I do believe my vapors are up

2006-03-11T15:09:00.000-05:00

I have nothing to say. Or rather I might but in this sudden unforetold pleasent weather I've no will to compose my thoughts when I could instead by walking about in blue skies and balmy temperature. Ciao.

What we achieve too easily we esteem too lightly

2006-03-04T14:12:00.000-05:00

And so I return alive and happy from Florida. If you at some point find you have a chance to leave these shores in the depths of face searing cold to visit those southern lands I encourage you to do so. I had particular pleasure in the company of my family (though we went our separate ways before we inevitably fell to each others throats) especially since my father was good enough to pay for most things. Perhaps I’ll have a more complete summery later but for now I’ll only say that Alligators are black not green. Really. You have been living a lie.

Dave and I went to see that new Milla Jovohovoitchitch film Ultraviolet last night and it is more terrible then I can easily convey. I’ll need to recalibrate my crap detection system since now its bar is set all too high. Or low, as the case may be. Indeed, Mrs. Milla's crushingly unexciting "film" is a long, jagged scar across our collective unconscious. It is your hopes and dreams replaced by a dying, weeping child crushed and all at once bereft of breath in your unconsoling - and inconsolable - embrace. It is blood in your stool on the eve of your wedding day. It is an unaccounted-for prosthetic eyeball swimming languidly in your vegetable pad thai. It is happiness itself blotted forever from the cosmos*.

I’ve also been thinking a lot lately and to rid my self of this worrisome habit I’ll now transcribe some of these thoughts to the internet:

-A religion that, without metaphor or simile, worships money and whose greatest sin is poverty. I thought of writing a story set in a land that follows the economics of faith. It wouldn’t be too odious I think but it might require further reading.

-The We Don’t Sell Books bookstore. This is a store I would really like to found but it’s creation would first require the accumulation of vast wealth or a generous grant from the NIA. The concept being I fill a store floor to ceiling with all my favorite books and then try to prevent them from leaving. There would be a register and yes even the occasional sale but only if the purchaser manages to convince me or my employees that they really really deserve their chosen book. Minimum purchase $100.

My haircut is nice, and a good change of pace. I still have the mind of a man with long hair though and I’m constantly adjusting clothes and scarfs around a ponytail that no longer exists. I’ll grow accustomed to it though, maybe by the time I let it grow back out again.

Traveling inspires in me a desire to travel further. We’ll see what develops.

*With appologies to this review of Chairman of the Board.

Addendum

2006-02-24T04:31:00.000-05:00

Press A! PRESS IT FASTER!

LIESLIESIES

2006-02-24T03:07:00.000-05:00

I can't sleep and so I post. Also that looks like meme looks like fun so I'm doing that.

Thomas looks like a vicious fish

Thomas looks like his old self

Thomas looks like a train wreck

Thomas looks like something that crawled out of the ass of an armadillo (from here, and yes)

Thomas Looks like ricky..

Thomas looks like a man on the run

Thomas looks like one of Piero della Freancesca's heavenly youths (Hurrah!)

Thomas looks like a fairly pure-blooded Congoid, but he seems to have the intelligence of a mulatto. (Oh no!)

Thomas looks like a power lifter and Pokey Reese looks like your average 7th grader

Thomas looks like he should be punched!!

Heh that was pretty fun. I go to sleep now. When I wake up, I might just go and get a haircut.

This is only a test

2006-02-18T17:14:00.000-05:00

Do not be alarmed. I'll be signing off this evening and then not returning online for about a solid week and a half. There's a few reasons but the big two are that tonight and for the next few days my former babysitter, her current husband and 1-2 of her lovely children will be visiting the homestead. Since I have the largest available room it has been volunteered to them. I don't mind terribly much but in cleaning it up and out the internet must be disconnected so that toddlers do not toddle over the ethernet cable.

The second reason is that this coming Saturday myself, my parents, my sister, and younger brother will all be heading down to South Florida to see the Everglades, hike, boat, swim, tan, golf and whatnot. It'll be a grand old time but not a time conducive to internet connections. And nor should it. Truly I've been attached to this new fangled idiot box for a good long while now. So, ten days off (give or take) should do me some good.

In other developments I've been volunteering a lot lately. And if I were a senior on a fixed income, Medicare part D (D for Drug Benefit) would scare the shit out of me. See the trick is that even if you don't sign up for it-say you can't afford the hundreds of dollars of enrollment or the monthly fee-you might still lose out on free medication that was formerly given freely by drug companies. This is because the Office of the Inspector General has specifically warned drug manufacturers that if they provide free medication to seniors who could also be enrolled in Medicare Part D then their company could brought on Federal anti-kickback laws. Which means that millions of 65+ Americans who are already stretching food stamps, Social Security and anything else they have pretty tight to begin will now be paying something-perhaps quite a lot of something-more then free for their life saving medications. The really lucky won't have to choose between drugs, and heat.

Troubling times indeed.

huh

2006-02-11T15:03:00.000-05:00

I seem to have over ridden the last post previous to this one (i.e. February 4th's). I wonder how.

Reporting from Ann Arbor-Alive.

2006-02-11T14:38:00.000-05:00

Until my life becomes substantially more exciting I think a good balance between to much and to little chronicaling will be a post about once a week. In case of fire flood or falling in love I will certainly update sooner. Unless I don't, so be prepared for that as well.

In the preceding week I applied for five more jobs practiced two half hours of Yoga and finished four substantial novels while drinking two cups of coffee. I also volunteered for seven hours at a free clinic 30 minutes outside of Ann Arbor. I paid 40 dollars in car insurance and 300 to the usurers that hold my college loans. I currently have zero health insurance coverage.

In more positive news I think I've finally settled on a cafe to wile away my many lazy afternoons. It's called Cafe Ambrosia it's near a bookstore on a side street in the middle of downtown. It's small but cozy, cheap but tasty, has glass mugs and the New York Times. In addition, I noticed today during my second visit, it is almost exactly like Grounds For Change at Allegheny. Right down to the blue travel mugs they used to (once again?) sell. A number of threadbare comfortable couches, odd music, and student artwork on the walls. I considered asking if it was a non-profit but decided against it. In any case very convivial, I am content to sit and read and occasionally converse with acquaintances I who have also made their way there. Good times.

February is a brief and unsettling month and I look forward to it's end. Already the days grow longer and the snow wetter. Mostly I look forward to March because one month after it is March it will probably be April. And I have plans for April, happy nerdy plans that have been plotted with like minded nerdy people. I do hope they bear fruit.

As for the coming week I'll continue applying for work and reading and yogaing and volunteering as these things come all along. After one or two heavy drinking episodes I expect.

Tootles.

Another Day Another Dollar.

2006-01-28T13:04:00.000-05:00

Today was eventful, and it's not even half over. But first I shall cover the preceding week.

As posted below the required material for my computer's elective surgery arrived and were subsequently employed to good effect. With the replacing of my motherboard, CPU and RAM the performance of my computer has improved as follows: 200% additional sexy, 300% additional awesome and (if I've done my figures correctly) over 1000% of my daily recommended rock. Total price (including a new Power supply to keep up with the additional sexy) just shy of $400.

The other day I applied to be a substitute teacher in the Ann Arbor public schools. I thought that there might be somesort of review or selection process but the secretary at the administrative building made it seem like all I had to do was show up at orientation and I'd be allowed unfettered access to impressionable young minds. So long as I brought a current set of fingerprints.

I should also keep applying for 'real' work. If only because once the month ends I really can't in good conscience list my employment as July-current. I might get a job in the same lab my sister works at, we'll see.

Yoga this morning was slightly hampered by the 4 slices of unexpelled pepperoni pizza I enjoyed last night in a certain familiar state of altered consciousness. I was so worried about them...impeding my asanas, I also had a bowl of raisin bran this morning in the hopes of encouraging them be rid of me. No dice. It made me view the practice in a new and interesting manner. And I'm glad we didn't do any inverted poses.

Shortly afterwards I went to the library book sale, which is having it's big winter sell off this weekend. Today I purchases How Good Do We have to Be, Ethical Theory: Classical and Contemporary Readings, Lolita, My Antonia, The Best American Short stories-1998, Fifty Major philosophers, Emma, and Madame Bovary. and all for the low low price of 4 US dollars. Tomorrow is even more promising, as for that same price you are given a large, brown, paper bag which you can then fill with whatever it is that catches your eye.

Afterwards I lunched in the Cafe Felix to unwind and examine my purchases. Perhaps over this preceding week I'd built up somewhat unrealistic expectations of the place. Still whatever I hoped to find, the place came up lacking in every respect. The booth was torn and lacked certain supporting strings. The decor was pleasant but threadbare. The bathroom smelled of raspberries which I was thankful for as I unleashed my cramped and urgent burden. The service was nice but unenthusiastic, and the strawberry and banana crepe with nutella spread I selected felt burdensome to finish. The coffee tasted watery. Total price: $10 with tip, or 20 books.

Oh well, nothing ventured nothing gained. I look forward to reading all of it, and I fear I must restrain my time on the computer or I'll have another sore and teary eyed night from overexposure to awesome. Such is life.

Eeeeeeeeeeeee!

2006-01-25T17:13:00.000-05:00

My hideous computer pieces have finally arived! Now to get to the getting on...

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Woah hey now

2006-01-21T21:08:00.000-05:00

My new Yoga class is awesome, and I didn't realize how awesome it was until the very end of class today. That's when the strapping young man who teaches me and a half dozen women rubbed my neck and shoulders with some kind of minty icy-hot balm that stops soreness. It was really wonderful in that teacher/student I-wonder-if-he-like-likes-me kind of way. And my neck and shoulders feel great!

I visited another coffee shop and now I can definitly draw up a list of things I want

1. Nice ambience, with a comfy chairs.
2. Cermamic mugs.
3. Bagels
4.*

The Starbucks (baseline in this study) have so far only supplied 1 and 3 on the list, and sometimes not even 1. Sweetwaters (local place) has more potential, but suffers in that I think a former co-worker of mine might go there at some point. That's a totally stupid reason to avoid it, but I never claimed to be that smart. Espresso Royale (semi-local, the place I went today) was fine on all three counts but the whole time I was there I was wondering what it would be like if I had gone to Cafe Felix down the street. One day (maybe tomorrow!) that terrible knowledge will be mine.

This whole endevour of mine is starting to seem a bit too metaphorical for my tastes. But now I have no choice, science compells me.

Speaking of science, I'm preparing to gut and rebuild me computer. If I'm lucky I'll reformat half a hardrive after hours of work and several hundred dollars for an improvement that will last another 4 years at most. If I'm unlucky, two hardrives. The prospect fills me with fear, hope and sleepiness. Well the sleepiness is probably due more to the Yoga. Anyway, I order on Monday, only because I swore that I would think about it over the weekend.

...

*The 4th and final criteria is a high % of cute girls. Please don't tell anyone else.

The day so far.

2006-01-19T14:09:00.000-05:00

A few quick vinyasanas this morning after I woke up which is good, but I slept in longer then I'd like which is bad. The weather was nice though so I went to get cash, margarine and a coffee at the grocery store. Starbucks is having a free coffee day, which is good. But it tasted like ass, which is bad. I drank most of it anyway-just to be sure-which is probably worse.

And now that I have the margarine I'm all ready to make cookies, which are delicious. Also, since Thom and Sam haven't been playing CoV I've not been playing it much myself. Camaraderie or somesuch. Thing is, I don't miss it much, which is interesting.

And that's that, at 2:13 pm January 19th. It's all right for now.

Edit: Well! The rest of the day turned out more interesting then I expected. Watched the movie Duma which was great, and then drank margarities from a leaky blender and whatever else was hanging around his house. Smoked a bit as well, and then when we (I, my friend, a half dozen of his roommates) were sufficiently impaired we all decided to make vegan chocolate chip cookies. It was a strange time.

A pleasant night indeed.

Damn it all

2006-01-17T20:32:00.000-05:00

I had a longish post ready to go to push the pic below down a bit so's not to take up so much of the real eastate. And then Firefox crashed, lost the whole thing. That's a first. Perhaps I'll take a more serious look at that 'Save as Draft' button.

I won't retype but the gist of it was I submitted to job apps today and am ambivalent about the possibilities they hold.

The other bit was about this young woman. As it turns out she is a fellow alumni of Community High School in Ann Arbor. This knowledge has left me feeling a much more personal fear then I have before in these situations.

End communication.

Murderful: A combination of Murderous and Wonderful

2006-01-16T12:16:00.000-05:00

If you have to ask, you don't need to know.

A man, a plan, a canal – Panama!

2006-01-14T18:41:00.000-05:00

I find myself as one might expect with much more free time on my hands these days then I am accustomed to. Like all commodities, having more of it, I value it less. That needs to change. And so a provisional plan of how to fill up my days with more than enough crap to keep me occupied.

Awake! Like a vampire but with more string music. And also in the daylight. Early daylight if possible, but I'll settle for before 10. Except on Saturdays (see below).
Yoga. Perhaps not everyday at first, but this time before breakfast or a shower is ideal. Needn't be a long practice, but enough to get limber and sweaty.
Food-I need it to live!
Showar-I need it to live (in polite society)!
Two possibilities A) On a day with pleasant weather I'll walk 20 minutes into town to continue my plan of visiting every cafe, coffee shop, and espresso machine in Ann Arbor. At the rate of one a day I should be done in ~3 years. B) With rain, snow, sleet, hail, slush, or whathaveyou putter about the house doing odd chores, cleaning or preparing something for dinner.
Lunch.
Read something of nominal usefulness. Books on science, or social issues, or somesuch from the realm of nonfiction. Maybe something I missed out on from avoiding so many English classes.
Job searching-either from the computer at home or on foot in the city. Also graduate programs, just in case there's one that catches the eye.
Dinner.
Waste time! Not so long that the eyes rot from the skull but relaxation and escapism has it's place.
Brush teeth, read a book fall asleep. Shoot for around 1AM, or earlier if it's a boring book.

I've started a new Yoga class that meets Saturdays at 9:15, and has so far left me feeling sweaty sore and a bit lightheaded. Of course I've signed up for the whole winter term. It's called spirited yoga and for now is more focused on the physical side of the adjective then the spiritual. I like the instructor, he reminds me of a young James for anyone who's taken a dance class at Allegheny.

I've also received a notice from a friend of mine about a research assistantship at Mass. General hospital in their Bipolar clinic. It's a bit of a switch for me but I'm going to put an application together. It would be nice to look at neuroscience from the human side of things. And also nice to work in Boston. We'll see.

I'm just a brightside kind of guy

2006-01-10T14:51:00.000-05:00

I am looking forward to sleeping in again.

Mysteries!

2006-01-08T11:18:00.000-05:00

Yesterday managed to solve a couple niggling questions I'd had. The first was early in the evening: Playing City of Villains is very hard with an unstable connection!

The second was after I drove off to watch Firefly at a friends house: The secret to good margaritas is adding more Ceurvo!

The third and fourth were solved simultaneously at a party I went to at a different friends house. Why has he been to busy to hang out with me lately? And then, why didn't that Maggie girl ever call me back?

Yes, yes I'm afraid so. Once again I remain in a state of barely perturbed equaninamity. Ok that's a lie, but only because of mystery number five: The secret to a troublesome headache in the morning is mixing beer margaritas and whiskey. Still I'm happy to know that anyone is happy in this crazy mixed up place we call the world. And if they're two cool people I happen to know, all the better.

That's all what's new from the mystery machine. Zoiks!

So

2006-01-04T18:39:00.000-05:00

Now that I've told my parents I might as well tell anyone who doesn't play City of Villains. Boss lady informed me on Tuesday that for a number of well founded reasons she would not be extending me a permanent contract after my probation period ended on January 31st.

Me: Huh, you've uh made up your mind then?

Her: Yes Tom I'm afraid so and, (science science, mistake of mine, more science) so...

Me: Yeah, huh.

So that left me feeling fairly sad. I don't know about you but feeling sad is no fun for me, so I thought I'd share with you how I managed to feel better. First I browsed the internet for a while until I found this picture. And looking at it made me smile. Then I searched some more and found this one too. And then I just left both of them open and flipped back and forth for a while. That made me if not exactly happy, then a whole lot less sad. Then I came across another picture all together the opposite of the two above. At first it shocked me, and then it made me feel pretty horrible. I'll link to it, with the caption that I found on the BBC website.

...Casualties on all sides continued to rise, with over 2,000 US soldiers having now lost their lives in Iraq. Many Iraqi lives have also been shattered, including this young girl whose parents died when their family car came under fire from US forces in Tal Afar.

I won't comment on that, it rather speaks for itself. But I will say that after a few minutes of thinking and flipping back and forth between the first two pictures I realized that, yeah, what's happening to me is pretty bad, but fucking shit, compared to probably 99% of the human population I have a perfect life. Even without a job.

So if your curious, that's where I'm at right now. Also talking with my Mom helped a lot since, oddly enough, as I've gotten older her advice has become much more sensible. We'll see what the next few weeks bring. Feel free to comment, like my brother did when I told him about this.

Sean: Wait, you were doing that at work? No wonder they fired you.

Sensitive lad. The only other big news is that I've shaved and now I can feel my chin for the first time in over a year. And let me tell you, it feels wonderful. Mmmm.

Yesssssss

2006-01-02T01:52:00.000-05:00

Well as New Year's go, this past one was unmmemorable. By which I mean, I'm having a hard time remembering exactly what it was I did. But it was fun, good good fun.

And oh god the vomit.

Be in the In crowd

2005-12-26T17:16:00.000-05:00

Hoody hoo everyone. You know what? Science is hard. I'm going to need to start doing thesereadings away from comfy beds and distracting computers. Also around a lot of coffee would be great. If only there someplace, here in Ann Arbor, that catered to my needs.

Oh well.

And your special bonus for reading today: the playlist of a mix CD I put together after way to much work.

1. Russell Davies - Eat That Egg Fast (1:43)
2. Royksopp - Triumphant (4:20)
3. Vanessa John - Play In Traffic (4:54)
4. Wynonie Harris - Quiet Whiskey (2:28)
5. We're Not Really a Group - The Happy Song (0:50)
6. The Servant - Cells (4:50)
7. Tally Hall - Banana Man (4:29)
8. Jen Rathbun - Married, Buried Or Gay (3:26)
9. The Metasciences - Four-Color Love Story (2:03)
10. Jeremy Warmsley - 5 Verses (3:32)
11. KUPEK - On the other side of the world (3:04)
12. Saint Eve - No Human Words (5:29)
13. Masochist Monkey Circus - You’re An Animal (4:09)
14. Infinite Number of Sounds - The Red Human Headed Bull (5:09)

Bonus material- The Servant song was originally a classical piece by Jean Sibellius. It's beautiful but it didn't really fit so reluctantly I replaced it. I also wanted ot include for the longest time The Meltdowns - Matty Groves, but I couldn't find the proper place for it. 4/5ths of the songs and much more can be accessed by clicking a link I've previously posted.

Right now, because I care damnit, I'm trying to find a way to post the tracks for download and enjoyment. I believe the kids these days call it 'Podcasting'.

Well now

2005-12-25T00:02:00.000-05:00

I must say vis a vis that whole having-a-job thing I still feel generally optimistic. True I'll need to really stoke the brain meats for the next few weeks but I bit of exercise will do them good. And if worse comes to worse who's to say that's really the worst? I'll take it as it comes, like the Buddha would.

Also, buying 5 gifts in 1/2 an hour at 6pm Christmas eve is great fun. And because few others would be so foolish, there were no lines at all. The saddest thing though is that I'll needs buy a copy of a gift or two for myself in the next day or two.

Right I lied, the saddest thing is probably the middle of A Christmas Carol, which the family and were lucky enough to catch on the tube on this of all nights. I mean sure Dickens turns the Pathos up to 11, but by golly it feels quite proper all the same. And now I go to bed to think on a day were unlikely the casual meanness and ignorance we normally inflict upon them, children are given presents. And adults too, but the children deserve them more. Good times, truly.

Sweet dreams everyone.

Hmmmmm!

2005-12-22T17:33:00.000-05:00

A wise old bastard once said, "Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me." That was true for him, and as it turns out, may yet be true for me. See all this time since I realized hoe close to the edge I was, I've waffled back on forth on how good I think my chances are for continued employment. Today I bit the bullet and straight up asked.

And it would seem that at the moment my beloved leader leans towards letting me go. Yesssss....ah. But not for sure. And it is this not insignificant sliver of doubt that I will be working on for the next month or so before she must make a final final decision.

Well if all else fails, I can always cut myself to make the pain go away. Plus, no one questions long sleeve shirts at this time of the year!

And that wise old bastard? His name was Richard Nixon.

Ho shits Christmas!

2005-12-20T18:24:00.000-05:00

I have purchased nothing for anyone who isn't me for this 2005 holiday season. But at least I really like the things I've bought for me. I'll probably be out Saturday night then. Or very early Sunday...

Lets seeeee I'm donating blood again soon. Normally I don't mention personal charities for arcane religious reasons but I'm mentioning this now because anyone who's eligible should try and make an appointment at their local donor center. Holidays are rough on the blood supply and South East Michigan at least is one or two pileups away from running out.

The 137 page court finding in the Dover, PA Intelligent Design case is a really neat read. If you like that kind of thing.

And now, this weeks, 'I Heard it In The Lab.'

Scientist 1: Darn, why didn't I realize these were here before, I could have been eating these for hours already.

Scientist 2: Let me look at that bowl, I have a theory I want to confer with you about. Ah, so assuming an equal distribution to begin with it would appear that you prefer the white chocolate.

Scientist 1: It does appear so, but another possibility is that I preferentially selected white chocolate so that I could enjoy more dark chocolate in the end.

Scientist 2: ah good point, if nothing else we'll need to do a duplicate study.

Scientist 1: Mmm triplicate! I'll let (scientist 3) know that she must bring in some more.

Scientist 2: I'll write the grant!

Scientist 1: *crunch crunch*

Conclusion: chocolate covered pretzels are tasty.

Damn you Blog!

2005-12-15T21:17:00.000-05:00

Well really nothing interesting has been going on around here so I suppose I should make something up. I already have a longish post ready about my own needlessly convoluted thoughts on spirituality and destiny. I'm gonna sit on that for a while though, sorry. In the meantime you can look forward to, Adventure, Danger, Suspense!

Or some such. As of today I am wholly adrift in the sea of science without my beloved and well paying boss who has seen fit to visit zee Germans for the next week. I am now responsible for two persistent mysteries, seven complicated experiments, and over 100 frozen, thinly sliced mouse brains. THE POSSIBILITIES TERRIFY ME.

Maggie hasn't called but I didn't expect her to. Finals you know.

Scott Pilgrim is awesome. I suspect Thom may be aware of it's existence even if he's not aware that he is aware. A brief snippet of dialogue:

Pilgrim: Can we go out sometime? Or, I mean, I mean...Can we maybe just hang out? Can we get to know each other? You're new in town right? I've lived here forever--I mean--I mean... There are...Reasons... For you to hang out with me?

Ramona: You're all over the place.

Pilgrim: But I'm so sincere!

Ramona: sincerely lame, maybe.

Anyway it's charming, don't judge me.

Finally I had a thought about my computer which is old and decrepit. Since it has two hardrives and two operating systems, is it not like a man with multiple personalities? One personality is stable, boring and for all intents and purposes the rightful owner of the hardware (Windows 2000).But there is another, alien, exciting, off kilter and a little immoral (Windows XP). Perhaps neither is wholly cognizant of the other. Perhaps the strange silences into which they plunge, for weeks at a time, confuse and bewilder my poor beleaguered C drive. Where did that program come from, how did all these files move from here to there, WHO IS TORMENTING ME?!?!!!!

Probably not. But one thing I do know is that it's darn near time to put the poor bastard out of it's misery. And what will come afterwards...lord only knows.

A final question: Why can't I get the cap off my bottle of white chocolate liquor? Is there even anything left inside of it? Damn you bottle!

Red like a communist

2005-12-08T23:24:00.000-05:00

I find myself loath to wear the new contacts my insurance is so kind to bestow upon me. I don't know why I thought sticking a finger in my eye would be easy. Lord knows I seem to have done it to other people often enough. With sexy results. But yes it may not have been my finest thought to order them in the driest season of the year.

Yet I like the idea of wearing contacts. Perhaps the platonic ideal of non-icky, burning, complicated contacts but even so. They just seem more efficient then glasses.

...

That might not be enough, but by god I'm gonna try again tomorrow.

Some things, like a descriptive and evocative title.

2005-12-06T21:04:00.000-05:00

So. That plan I had last week of not calling Maggie? It was a dumb plan, dumb dumb dumb, and I have abandoned it. In fact we chatted just now and she said she'd thought of calling me, so heck that's good enough in my book. As far as what we'll do next I have no idea, except that she's busier then I am so it'll be her schedule I need to be fitted to. Which means I don't need to make a plan, which is great because I'm lazy and I have a tendency not to follow my designs.

So that could turn out all right, I'm patient and generally optimistic.

I've decided I should spend less time on the computer. Specifically 100% less time on City of Villains until it decides to be fun again. Or Sam gets back to Dakota or which ever D state he's from. You know, whatever comes first. I had a pretty extensive reasoning worked out for why I didn't like the game anymore but it probably comes down to me being burned out and bored. I also don't think I'm likely to head back to World of Warcraft and with those timesinks out of the way maybe I'll finally get a chance to catch up on my reading.

Boss lady is flying back to Germany for some efficient family fun, and in the meantime she's learning me a lot of new techniques for all the projects I'll be doing while for that week and half. This is good for me, except that once she's gone and I screw up (it's a statistical certainty) I'll be running around like a chicken with it's head cut off only instead of a chicken it'll be a mouse and I won't be the one running around. You laugh sure...but it's happened...and it's pretty freaky.

The article still isn't done or maybe it is and I'm just not in the loop. Things are kinda confused at work right now since the boss boss is back with his parents tending to a sudden family emergency for an indeterminate amount of time.

I'm considering wallpapering my room with pages from old science fiction books. Hmmm.

2005-12-05T00:11:00.000-05:00

A shiny nickle to the young fellow who can find an explanation for this!

Wooooooo!

2005-12-03T00:47:00.000-05:00

Pistons! YEAH!

So we started up in the front row...of the balcony area. That didn't last, and we slowely trickled down to where we could make out individual tattos on the players. And that was totally awesome. Heeba geeba.

Here goes

2005-11-29T17:34:00.000-05:00

Ok, more time then I thought I had, so, from most recent to not: I'm off to get fitted for new eye wear. I don't particularly need it but since the vision plan was very reasonable, especially since I'd get a years worth of coverage while only paying for 6 months of it, I signed up for it in August. Perhaps the hospital just likes to throw it's money around? I hope to find a pair of contacts with an optical zoom and maybe an internal targeting system.

I don't imagine any of my hundreds (ha!) of readers follow sports, much less Michigan sports but the lab is going to a Pistons game. Everything the Lions are not, the Pistons are-including crushing all in their path and then expelling them as noxious exhaust. To make it even more exciting the coach of the opposing team is none other then Larry Brown, the self same Piston's coach of the previous two years. Grudge match. And I was looking over the ticket and it seems to say 'Row 1'. This cannot be true, but if it is holy cats. Aaaaaaaaaaand the tickets were free. Provided by a labmate's husband who's friends own a radio station. We promised to cure their diabetes if they're ever afflicted.

Speaking of surprising and humbling gifts the paper Boss Lady has been writing for the past month inexplicably lists me as the first author. In a sane world I should be somewhere in the middle, with all the other people who don't matter. It's gone through too many revisions (including a grammar check by my Mom, love love) to be a mistake so I assume this is some arcane indication of my own boss's status as rising star. And here I shall remain for a time, clinging with glee to those coattails as we make our way onwards and upwards, twirling towards to the future.

And what else....what else what else what else... Oh right. The events of last Saturday evening. It was I said, over and over, a date of sorts. But perhaps this was only so in my aspirations. The night itself was pleasant, if uneventful and I think through no ones fault the young lady and I shall find ourselves in the friends zone. Ok it might be my fault. I don't have a stomach for liquor, and it slowed me down. I was also interested in her past (a lot more eventful then mine, though that's not hard to accomplish) and musings. We share quite a bit-her pharmacological history exceeds mine in depth if not breadth-including not getting out the home very often. I think she was glad to open up. And that's about all we did, talk and drink and listen to music. I would enjoy doing it again, and if that's all it ever is, that's not so bad. Not bad at all. Her name's Maggie, if you're curious.

There is one thing I'm going to try, a test if you will: She has my number, we both seemed to have a good time, so I think I'll let her call me at her convenience. This might not be my finest thought, so let me know what you think of it.

Wow

2005-11-29T17:31:00.000-05:00

An eventful past few days that have left me busy and tired. I'll have a bigger post about it in a few hours.

Sunrise, Sunset

2005-11-25T23:58:00.000-05:00

Another Thanksgiving, come and gone. I got drunk on wine and familial love but mostly wine. Also some family friends and their newborn occupied my room which was fine because it was a darn adorable baby. And I can't stand in the way of that, I just wilt. All in all a darn fine holiday.

That's all of the everything, as I see it.

Oh hey

2005-11-23T01:03:00.000-05:00

Got a date! Huh, I wonder if really attractive people feel like this all the time.

Also "Quiet Whiskey" by Wynonie Harris is a song for drinking and I am listening to it now.

Haven't you wanted to be a member?

2005-11-21T18:53:00.000-05:00

Day whatever: If I keep working like I am now I will not be fired. So I'm still going to worry about it but not obsess. This should keep me sharp and insure that it is the mouse on the chopping block, and not the research tech.

Speaking of mice: There is one mouse in particular who died in the second most gruesome manner that I have ever seen. I will tell you the story of his sad and all too short life.

The Hot Blooded of the low cut shirt and stolen pipetter and I had taken it upon ourselves to create our own ICV mice. These are mice, I think I've explained before, who wear a kind of hat on their heads. Except, unlike a hat that most of us would wear, it can never be taken off since it is attached to the skull with glue and sometimes metal screws. The hat also allowed us to inject substances into their brains with relative ease. For a project my companion was engaged in, she would need 8 ICV mice, and for padding she ordered 10 normal mice for us to operate on. Our survival rate in the end was about 3.

There were a number of problems, of which an even half were my responsibility. For the first mouse we operated on I assured Boss Lady and my compatriot that yes yes I'd done this before with rats and once one got the mouse into the apparatus (which holds the skull perfectly still and centered for undisturbed work) the drilling was pretty straightforward. I then took the Dremel tool in both hands and immediately plunged the rapidly spinning bit into the mouse's brain matter. A mouse skull is about 1/3 as thick as a rat's it turns out. Fortunately by that point he was already deceased from something unrelated, so we all practiced drilling on it before tossing it in the fridge for eventual incineration.

The mouse in question met its end a few days later when it was just the inimitable Puerto Rican and I in the operating room. We had figured out what killed our first three mice and had operated successfully on four of them yesterday. Today was going poorly and one had already died from excessive bleeding. We had tried adjusting the anesthetic but it was difficult going.

I'll admit now that I've forgotten some of the exact details but I will say this: There was a lot of bleeding after we drilled in, and we only just managed to stop it. There was a parental an artery very near our target site and this was probably being nicked in our surgery. Nonetheless we pressed on determined to give this a mouse a hat. That was our error. I applied superglue around the edge of the cannula and positioned it above the hole we had created. Carefully we lowered it millimeter by millimeter until it was just above the surface of the skull. Labmate and I exchanged a nervous glance and I turned the knob to lower it in.

A moment of calm.

And then what I can only describe as a tiny red volcano. Spewing up from the surface of the skull and also 1 millimeter higher from the top of the canula. In shocked horror we saw it freeze in mid splatter as it mixed with the glue and solidified. Our mouse-still breathing and close to awake at this point-now had a crown of blood perched on its head.

That's also when we noticed that we were being watched. A local high school student, a bottle washer in a near by lab, rapped on the window. Her eyes were shielded from the horror by my coworker as I frantically moved to overdose the creature while avoiding any contact with it's head. By the time I had it in a tiny plastic bag to be sent to the freezer and then reimagined in my nightmares the student was distracted by our one surviving mouse who was delighted to crawl up and around her arm.

We decided to leave cannulations to professionals after that.

Ahhhh

In other news I haven't called the number yet, and my mothers quiche for the lab thanksgiving was 20 minutes undercooked. Coincidentally, 2/3 of the people who ate it are sick today.

hmmmmmmmm

2005-11-20T13:48:00.000-05:00

Have a headache.

Have a phone number.

Wore a dress.

All in all a very good night.

2005-11-19T10:29:00.000-05:00

Day3: What does a guy have to do to get fired around here?

A combination of paranoia and adrenaline fueled focus seems to be the trick to not fucking up in the lab. Now I just need to sustain that for 9 hours or so and I'll be the best lab monkey there is!

Well maybe the second best.

In other news I have read 16 of these and you should too. I remain torn between Civ4 and CoV and often choose based on what is crashing least. Perhaps I should upgrade the old hamster wheel... And finally with a bit of luck I'll be getting apocalypticly high, drunk, or both tonight. It will be the finest thing.

AH FUCK! IT'S COLD!

2005-11-17T19:45:00.000-05:00

Day 2: I still work there, they still me.

Not much else to report, aside from little brother is all grown up. And these transgenic mice we have are just adorable...all different colors too. Now video games, yay!

2005-11-16T18:39:00.000-05:00

Day 1 operation Do Not Fire Me. Status: Not Fired.

I did make on serious but non fatal error. This was after 8 hours of, dare I say it, pretty good science. So I think the day went fairly well. And so to celebrate another lab anecdote.

Early one morning in my first month there the pretty Puerto Rican grad student approached me with a question/statement, "Tom, you took my pippeter yesterday and didn't bring it back." This was said in a matter of fact way with an accent that is difficult to convey over the internet.

I responded to this accusation with righteous defensiveness. "No no, it wasn't me!" A pause, "Well maybe it was...probably...yeah yeah I borrowed it and forgot to put it back. Sorry."

She smiled as the victorious tend to. "Your mouth said no. But your eyes said yes."

Not to be crossed that one.

Also, on the walk home today I saw a firetruck and ambulance parked outside the residence of an elderly neighbor. I also thought I smelled smoke, but that may only have been because I heard the firetruck sirens as I approached. I didn't know the man well, but I did deliver his paper for 5 years, so I hope it's nothing serious.

And another thing

2005-11-15T19:52:00.000-05:00

Remember when I said I would play City of Villains next?

I lied.

Oh dear

2005-11-15T17:46:00.000-05:00

For those who say I get by on (take your pick): low cunning, a privileged background, good looks, easy charm, endearing vulnerability, serendipity, or what-have-you, you are generally correct. I have achieved many difficult things in life and I didn't always work that hard for them.

But.

I was in the closing hours of the work day called to the office of my bosses boss. There we discussed various things but the main message, and one I'd been expecting for some time, was 'wise up Tom'. The antecedent might have been at some point yesterday, which was not a fine day for science, at least in my partof it. But it seems to be part of a more worrisome ongoing trend. I still don't think I'm going to be fired-yet. But...the fact is I need to be quite a bit more attention both to my duties and how well I account for what I've accomplished. It's all well and good to do an experiment but I'll also need to show when and how it was done if I'm going to go any further with this.

I certainly think I'm capable of doing better then I've done-and I think my superior's do as well. The question might be then-why wasn't I working harder before? Yeah I don't really know. Sorry. So...regardless of what I may or may not have been doing before (hint: lots of coffee breaks) I think that I can change. You may now start betting on when my new found determination and good cheer meet their inevitable and depressing end.

In a good match of the scenery to the action the weather today went from a cold drizzle to a full fledged thunder storm, with a tornado watch for good measure. On a side note, boss lady mentioned to me that if I wanted to know what life in Germany was like, two weeks of this would not be uncommon. If I had to walk home from the bus in absolutely not waterproof shoes while the sky turned to charcoal and the sidewalks became covered in invisible puddles for more then a day at a time, well, I might want a little getaway in France as well.

But it's not all doom and gloom. We just celebrated my cousin's birthday at the homestead and little brother's is this Thursday: the cigarettes and pornography one. And onwards I go.

Re: Civ 4

2005-11-14T23:28:00.001-05:00

Whoops, where did six hours go?

I'll try to balance my history raping with some good old villainy tomorrow. Smaller scale violence and atrocity it's true, but the personal touch matters.

Nerd post

2005-11-13T23:13:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was fairly balanced by sociability and video games. Today-the day of rest-was none of that. All nerd all the time in this house. Well and a bit of the football game, but that was a male bonding thing.

First off, in my prime time sink we have City of Villains. The game itself is fun enough but I mostly enjoy the scribbled into the margins parts of it. Like villain bases. Here's my character in one of a base of Thom's design.

Join us now, for lifestyles of the rich, and villainous.

Here we shall meet the egregiously violent King Deadly, as he surveys the latest additions to this, his manner house.

Did you note the many handicap accessible bathrooms? Yes. It is the law after all. Stepping through the foyer we leave behind the pleasures of mysterious obselisks and treasures stolen from long dead nations to enter the laboratory!

Database in order oh noble king? Oh I should hope so, I'd hate to think of that operating table gathering dust, instead of the blood and brain meats it extracts for your malevolence.

But all work and no play leads to dullness. And if there's one thing the truly evil can not abide, it is a lethargic atrocity! Join us then to see our man relaxing in the den. Is he studying some ritual to unlock Cthonic evil or Eldritch power? Perhaps he merely looks forward to an evening of chess, brandy, and unprovoked assault.

And that's all we have today, but please join us again soon for lifestyles of the rich, and villainous!

Ah fun times. The other game is Civ4! Which is also delightful in a completely different and more immersive manner. I'd be playing it right now but I want to get this post up before I faint from lack of food and sleep.

Two things

2005-11-10T22:09:00.000-05:00

1. I'm not sure what it is I'm looking for in a Yoga class, but I don't think it's what I've got now. To much talking, a bit to much froufrou, and my back's still bugging me. The back thing is almost certainly my fault but the rest lies with the instructer. She's a fine lady and her workout area has a distinct advantage over my last in that it's more then 8ft tall. Still I get a weird kinda self-pity/Age of Aquarius vibration from her that is playing hell with my bandhas. Maybe I'll sit in on one of my dad's classes, if they're ever scheduled when I'm not at work.

2. There was a child of maybe three or four staying at the homestead yesterday and today whom I only interacted with at the breakfast table. Cute as a button, and free to play with his cheerios and revolutionary war soldiers to a degree that I envied. Sadly he was asleep on arrival last night and I was working too late to see him leave today. I'm sure we'll again meet before he gets awkward and surly, and I'll try to make the best of it then.

3. Lab lunch at an Indian restaurant tomorrow, woo!

There was a wind advisory today

2005-11-09T22:39:00.000-05:00

Which seemed wholly appropriate. Great gusts of air threatened to reenact the beginning of Merry Poppins. I didn't see any flying hats or umbrellas but then I wasn't looking very hard.

Still it's only a matter of time till much less pleasant advisories replace the wind.

Of course you know, this means war.

2005-11-07T18:34:00.000-05:00

An event was brought to the attention of Boss-lady and I. A warning to sharpen the will and speed the quills. A rival. A rival investigating the exact thing we are! Little is known of him except, perhaps, that his wife asked a vertenarian how one neuters a cat. Because you see they had an un-neutered cat and she is the do-it-herself type.

Tidbits like that reflect research ability poorly though. So our month long wrap up before submission will be more like a week and a half now. Busy busy busy.

The early days of a web log (blog) or online journal are often marked by an exuberance of posting: often, and extensively.

2005-11-06T20:07:00.000-05:00

I haven't seen anyone else with this particular random test so here goes!

the Wit

(66% dark, 38% spontaneous, 10% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm
talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

The 3-Variable Funny Test!

- it rules -

If you're interested, try my latest:
The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 86% on darkness
You scored higher than 29% on spontaneity
You scored higher than 1% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

And here's another for good measure.

The Expatriate

Achtung! You are 38% brainwashworthy, 18% antitolerant, and 33% blindly patriotic

Congratulations! You are not susceptible to brainwashing, your values and cares extend beyond the borders of your own country, and your Blind Patriotism does not reach unhealthy levels. If you had been German in the 30s, you would've left the country.

One bad scenario -- as I hypothetically project you back in time -- is that you just wouldn't have cared one way or the other about Nazism. Maybe politics don't interest you enough. But the fact that you took this test means they probably do. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt.

Did you know that many of the smartest Germans departed prior to the beginning of World War II, because they knew some evil shit was brewing? Brain Drain. Many of them were scientists. It is very possible you could have been one of them.

Conclusion: born and raised in Germany in the early 1930's, you would not have been a Nazi.

The Would You Have Been A Nazi? Test

- it rules -

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 46% on brainwashworthy
You scored higher than 14% on antitolerant
You scored higher than 42% on patriotic

Link: The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

2005-11-06T09:25:00.000-05:00

A closer examination of the past two days (and now today's!) headache suggests they are related to changing seasons, or allergies or something. I went over to borders and along with a hundred dollars worth of indulgence got a latte. The espresso did nothing more then make me really focused on the pain behind my eyes and Jimmy Carter's new book, 'I am a Born Again Christian, and yet am disgusted by the Southern Baptists.' Pretty neat if your interested in that type of thing.

Me I wondered if he'd talk at all about Habitat for Humanities partial disintegration. It still exists but the founder and his wife were kicked off the board? But no, everyone's still pretty quiet about that.

So today I'll probably drink some more coffee-and in this way stave off the possibility of two unique and wonderful headaches attacking me at once-finish reading Mary Roach's new
and so far pretty wonderful book, and of course play more CoV. This time, just so as not to get eternally above everyone but Thom I shall try out the dominator. He intrigues me...

2005-11-05T11:01:00.000-05:00

It's Saturday morning and I need to get coffee before I die. Damn it all.

At least I'm not doing heroin...Probably.

2005-11-04T19:43:00.000-05:00

The gang's all here.

Top row from left to right is Zizi, Justin, Martin (the PI), Rebecca (flashing a gang sign), Gina, and some other guy.

Below that, from left to right: Yu-song, Ryoko, Enida, Kaylee, Gwen, Heike (boss lady), and Scott.

I like em I do.

2005-11-04T19:07:00.000-05:00

The time was about 2:45 and my boss and I were rushing through a collection phase in a project we were working on. We were rushing because it was a time sensitive deal: we had 15 minutes to finish it and start again with the next one. And we had already lost several minutes running down to the courtyard for a group photo. Maybe it was the added time pressure that caused this particular procedure to turn out as it did.

My boss and I are working to illuminate some fundamental anatomy of the brain. To do this it is necessary to poke at, inject into, and slice too pieces real, honest to goodness brains. The collections I mentioned above were of brains taken from mice that moments earlier had their brains inside their skulls and probably believed that they would stay there for some time. They were sadly mistaken. We worked in tandem because that was the best way for one to put the mouse down, collect our samples, and store the dissected pieces of brain in liquid nitrogen all in 15 minutes or less. We'd been doing this for a while so usually everything was taken care of with a minute or 3 to spare.

Not this time. This time we were already behind schedule (the chemical we'd injected often had an effect within 30 minutes, but now it was closer to 40) and we were trying to catch up. I injected the mouse with pentobarbital and watched as it wandered drunkenly in its enclosure and fall over. It was about 12 weeks old and fairly large. Attached to it was an intracerebral canula, which is kind of like a hat that it can never take off because it is attached to a hole in its skull. After a time I checked in the box and it wasn't moving about anymore, though it still seemed to be breathing. Generally about 2 minutes passed from pento to expiration and I wasn't sure how long it had been.

"He's down" I said, "but I think he's still breathing."

My boss checked the mouse and noted the heaving chest, "It is snap breathing, he is gone." Snap breathing is kinda of a spasm of the abdomen, not really drawing in breath. Basically she was telling me that despite appearances the mouse was, in fact, dead and so wouldn't feel what was about to happen to it. I bowed to superior wisdom. Normally at this point my boss performed a cervical dislocation: two fingers on the neck and another hand on the mouse's body. Force is applied in opposite directions and you hear a cracking sound. That way in case the pento didn't quite take the mouse is very definitely dead.

I can't recall if this maneuver was performed in this instance. As I said we were rushed.

My boss held the mouse by the head in one hand and a pair of scissors labeled, 'head' in the other. I held the mouse's body in my left and a large syringe in my right. With a snip the head came off and she went to work with it. I was focused on the arterial blood that spurted up and over the desk we worked on trying to suck as much of it into the syringe as I could and then put it on ice before it coagulated. I was also trying not to think about how much the headless mouse was moving about in my hand. I got about .7mls and dropped the critter-still wriggling into the bag.

That's when I noticed the head.

My boss had been distracted by our principal investigator-he's the guy that got all the expensive toys, our lab space, kinda tells us what to do, and hadn't removed the brain from the mouse yet. The head was rocking up and down, and with sufficient momentum I was worried it might fall to the flour. I looked closer, opened mouthed, and saw that the mouse's jaw was spasming open and closed trying to feed air into lungs that were now far far away. I watched it for a bit, and it lasted much longer then I felt it should. Actually I'm not sure if it was still before my boss finally returned to extract what was needed from it.

I wondered if it would hurt, if a decapitated mouse should happen to bite me.

2005-11-03T23:44:00.000-05:00

Damn. I need to neglect this less if I'm ever going to show it to others.

Update on what it's like to steal the lifeblood from a beating heart-tomorrow!

I got it from Brandon

2005-10-31T18:20:00.000-05:00

POsting this seems a bit like cheating. But I make the rules so...

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.7
Mind:	7.6
Body:	7.6
Spirit:	5.5
Friends/Family:	5.9
Love:	2.1
Finance:	9
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

About what I expected, sure Love could be better but that seems to be low for most people so I'm unconcerned. Are my Finances really that good? Kinda yeah.

hmmm

2005-10-30T14:58:00.000-05:00

I've said (with a hint of irony I suppose) that I don't want a livejournal because I don't think my life is interesting. Well, to be more accurate, my life is interesting to me. Don't believe me? Very well: Tom's weekend.

On Saturday I went shopping with my mom. A pleasing affair, but mostly I needed her car to go to the mall so I could recieve my pre-paid copy of City of Villains. They didn't have Civilization 4, which I had resolved to play when I couldn't play CoV; But I should save my money anyway. That afternoon I installed the game, joined the head start, and got Messrs. Weyandt in for good measure. In between loading screens I was reading a lot of this book, which is awesome.

Sunday, Set clocks back played some more CoV. Ponder for the umpteenth time buying a new computer. Finish the book.

There you go, 48 hours gone buy...and...yeah. Well, I suppose it's not worse then what I've been reading elsewhere in journal land.

hmmm...

Today was a bad day to be a mouse.

2005-10-28T18:56:00.000-04:00

Well. For those of you not in the know (which I suspect is no one) I am something of a scientician. Or, what some might call a son of a bitch. In brief, I claimed the lives of 14 adorable brown and black mice today. An average of one every 15 minutes.

Then I took their blood.

And sometimes their brains.

This wasn't exactly business as usual but nor was it that unexpected. I'll be honest, it was pretty grisly and it's because of days like this I like to come home and do things that remind me not at all of the previous eight hours. It's a strange thing, animal research. Strange and a little sad, and a tiny bit fun. I must also admit...even when I am the direct proximate cause of a 5 week old black mouse drifting into a pentobarbital slumber forever I do like my job. My coworkers are smart and attractive. I've learned more by doing then I have by reading. I'll be published in scientific journals. And this'll probably make up for the cheerfully average grades when I apply for graduate studies.

I remain content in my position. I wonder how long that will last.

Why hello there

2005-10-27T23:31:00.000-04:00

If you've found this blog tell me how, because for now I don't really have anything worth reading. Until that changes, I'm keeping the shop locked up.

Skedaddle.